They had this self titled ep with these weird looking little dick men on it that was released in 1983. I certainly remember seeing that in the record store and thinking "what the hell is that shit all about?"
In 1983, at 16, I was in my full on metal phase, and weird looking little dick men didn't seem very metal to me. Even though I would often buy a record based soley on an eye catching cover, I felt compelled to let that one stay on the rack.
Fast forward a year. 1984. My junior year in high school. I took guitar class as a cake walk. Even though I do love the sounds a guitar can make when others might play it, the only sounds I can elicit from it are feedback. I dick around somewhat, but to this day I don't know one single chord. Guitar class wasn't really about the actual playing of scales and chords for me. It was about going in one of those nifty soundproof booths with a bunch of friends and listening to music, shooting the shit or sneaking a smoke.
I have always been the go-to music guy amongst all of my friends and was forever turning people on to music that would come from nowhere and blow their minds. But even us go-to guys are allowed to have our minds blown at the expense of others good taste sometimes.
I remember sitting in the booth one day with a couple of people. One of them was this younger kid, Sean Augustine. We were listening to something. Can't remember what. But I totally remember what came next. He beams with excitement and says "Hey! I got something you will love!" and he pulls out this tape.Whoa! It was those weird little dick men! The Butthole Surfers. I laughed and said that I had actually seen that record around and was always curious to hear it. Just didn't wanna be seen buying it. He assured me that my life would be changed. Damn it, if he wasn't right.
He popped the tape in and everybody in the cozy and previously quiet confines of the booth would be assaulted with this blast of feedback, before finding themselves either confused or enlightened with these insane lyrics-
"There's a time to fuck and a time to crave
but the shah sleeps in Lee Harvey's graaaaaaave" -
before exploding into a complete barrel of noise and insanity.
Then came more of those great words-
"There's a time to shit and a time for God
the last shit that I took was pretty fucking odd!"
Followed by another blast of lunacy and chaos-
"There's a time for drugs and a time to be sane
but Jimi Hendrix makes love to Marilyn's remains!"
I was no longer in possession of my mental capacities. I felt like I was myself on drugs. Yet, I had not smoked or drank anything. I was too busy having my mind completely blown and my life changed by the Butthole Surfers. Everybody else but me and Sean had gotten up and walked out of the booth. But, I was plastered to my seat. I couldn't move or think. All I could do..... was listen.
"There's a time to live and a time to die
I smoke Elvis Presley's toe nails when I wanna get highhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The song kept hitting me in the eardrums and penetrating my consciousness with an explosion of psychedelic fury and utter musical (or non-musical, depending on your outlook) pandemonium. It bashed and ripped and snarled and raged. Then, stopped and spit out these insane words that made no sense and yet..... they were utter genius, and the beauty of true genius is often times that it doesn't always make sense. The song kept hitting me and stopping. Up and down. In and out. It was like my head was on a musical rollercoaster that lasted all of two minutes. It was the most meaningful and beautifully ear fucking chaotic two minutes of my life.
The noise would crescendo into overdrive with a demonic voice announcing-
"I am the ultimate God!
God is second to me!
I am number one motherfucker!
Don't even look back
Don't even look upon me
with your naked eyes"-
With my eyes closed and my eardrums being mashed to smithereens, I actually did see God that day. All hail the almighty and powerful Gibby Haynes. Bringer of pea soup for the soul. Rotted meat for the beast. Those funny mushrooms picked for the children from the garden of heathen. My life was indeed changed. Thank you, Sean. My mind would never be the same again. Thank you, Gibby. Now-
Shut up!
Shut up!
shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
*****Reposted from the Musicequalzorgasm music blog page. Original post date 10/8/2010*****
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