"Alright, so who's in? Spike? Reds?"
"In."
"In."
"How about you, Dooby?"
"Uhhhhhh.... yeah.... yeah.... lemme see.... well.... uhhhhh.... no.... no.... no. I'm out. Hey, you gotta light?"
"Over on the coffee table. Its dog proof though. There's some matches in the kitchen. While you're at it bring in a couple of bowls will ya? I got some liver bites I want you guys to try. So good they'll make you bust rocket fuel."
"Alright bets to you, Rags."
"Yeah, I spot."
"Huh? Huh? What? What?"
"No, dumbass I said I spot you guys. Chill out. Drink a beer or sum't'n."
"Is it my turn?"
"Yeah it's your turn Spot. Spot or fold?"
"I spot. Yeah yeah. Spot. That's me. I'm in.... and I'll raise you six bones."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Hey grab me a beer will ya?"
"What kind?"
"What do we got?"
"We got Red dog.... aaaaaand.... Red dog."
"Sounds good. Red dog it is then."
"Comin' right up."
"Have you guys heard about what happened to the alley brothers?"
"The Siamese bastards?"
"Correct you are, sir. Those would be the bastards in question."
"I tumbled with one of them before. Mean son of a bitch. Took everything I had to walk away from that one. Can't imagine having to take on two of them. Heard lots of stories about some dogs that weren't so lucky."
"Well, they won't be troubling no dog no how no more."
"Really? What happened?"
"Bubba took 'em both out."
"Bubba? That old rottweiler I see soaking his sac in the fire hydrant all the time?"
"Yep. He was over there beggin' for some duck strips from that old guy that runs the Chinese restaurant and here these two Siamese shitheads come rolling up on him trying to get in on his action."
"I hate Siamese, dog. I hate all cats, obviously. But them Siamese are the lowest of the low. Scum of the earth I tell ya."
"Well, Bubba took 'em both by their pointy little ears and he smashed their heads together. Their heads got stuck on each other. The bones of one got caught up on the bones of the other and their heads wouldn't come apart. They was walking around hissing and clawing at people. Heard it looked like a big one headed cat freak with two bodies."
"Niiiiiiice. What happened to 'em after that?"
"Old China man beat 'em down with a broom. Now he has 'em do stupid cat tricks on stage while people are eating their sum yung chow."
"Fuckin' Siamese. I hate fuckin' Siamese."
"You and me both and every other dog in the world, my friend."
"Good old Bubba. That saggy nut motherfucker. A toast!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH A TOAST!"
"To Bubba."
"TO BUBBA."
"Turn up the music, will ya? I love this song. Marvin really gets me goin'."
"Well, if that is the case why don't you just get your ass goin' on into the bedroom there and be sure to grab a few towels on the way so you can clean up after you're done. I told the master bader I'd have the place lookin' top shelf when him and the fam get home tonight."
"Hey, does that kid still fart and blame it on you?"
"Yeah. Little prick. I got his number. Next time he has his friends over I'm gonna take a dump in front of his bedroom door and then start howling. They all come running out and it's howdy doody time."
"Genius!"
"Hey, did you guys see that new bitch over on Beagle street?"
"Nooooooooo.... new bitch? When?"
"Saw her a few days ago.... and guess what?"
"You didn't?"
"Yep. Sure did."
"Noooooooo."
"Damn right I did."
"What? What? What?"
"Did she let you smell it?"
"More than that. I licked it."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I did I did. She let me. Told me I was cute. Next thing ya know we was like jack rabbits."
"You are so full of shit, Rex."
"I shit you not my friend. Me and her.... we had a genuine thing going on. She said she was new to the ave.... well, she ain't so new anymore. I broke her in, see?"
"You asshole. Couldn't wait for her to come around and sniff out any of the rest of us."
"Hey, what can I say? I'm a stud. She let me lick it and that is not all."
"What? What?"
"I took her out back of Rodmans for a little of the old soil and spoil if ya know what I'm sayin'?"
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
"You did not. You are so full of shit."
"Hey, there's no shit inside of me pal. You see that big pile on the corner of the paper over there? That is mine. So I'm clean and you're up."
"Oh oh oh. Yeah. Let's see. I call the six bones and I raise you four clams."
"Heyyyyyyyyyy!"
"What's a matter, Rexi? You can't get it up 'cuz you gotta save up them clams for your new girlfriend?"
"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. That bitch is old news for me. You guys can have her. I got me a new bitch."
"Who you got new?"
"Old new rather."
"What? You mean Daisy Duke?"
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
"Motherfucker, I know you like the back of my paw. You can't stay away from her. Nobody can. She's been around the block.... around the world.... if it's around she's been there and then some."
"You're just jealous."
"No reason for that. I just hit it right before we got here."
"You did not?"
"Wanna smell my paw?"
"You are so full of shit."
"Nope. I ain't that either. After I hit it she let me go right on the paper. Took a picture of it with my phone. Wanna see?"
"That don't mean nothin'. Every house dog has to use the paper. You could have taken that anywhere."
"Yeah, I could have. But I didn't. I got some mutt shots too."
"You mongrel bastard!"
"Hey! Hey! Now them's fightin' words in this house, Rexi boy."
"Will you guys shut up and just play?"
"Yeah, nobody cares about either of you hitting Daisy Duke. We all hit that bitch. More than once might I add."
"Yeah yeah. You're right. Bros before hoes?"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. BROS BEFORE HOES."
"Hey! Where is Beansy?"
"Oh, he had to get a ride again. His old lady didn't want him drinking and driving tonight so she offered to drop him off and then pick him up."
"So, what you are saying is.... that Beansy ain't gonna make it tonight then?"
"No, no, no.... he said he would be here. But you know how that old lady of his can be."
"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH."
"We know we know. That's why we said he ain't coming."
"Hey, it's getting late you think we should call him and see when he'll be here?"
"I told you guys, if that crazy old lady of his is driving him he ain't coming."
"Hey, gimme the phone. I'll call his house."
"Reds if Beansys old lady is driving him here I don't think you should call his house."
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, Reds. Who we talkin' 'bout here? You remember when she drove us all to the dog park that one and only time?"
"Yeah, you're right. I'll get the phone book and call the coroner. They might need some of his friends to come and identify the body."
*****Scribbles writing challenge. An all dialogue challenge. Original post date 3/13/2012*****
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