My name is Nicholas. My hobbies include chasing squirrels,vodka golf, and outrunning the LAPD while under the influence of LSD. I'm looking for a wholesome, Southern girl who is not afraid to get down on all fours and bark like a dog. I do have my own knee pads to lend if that helps.
My name is Chaz and I'm looking for a girl with strong family values. Followers are encouraged and leaders need not reply. I love nature, music, and mass genocide. I know I can make a girl feel like she sees God because I am God.
My name is Eric. I am a firm believer in letting a bitch be a bitch and a ho be a ho and one should never hate a player because at heart, that is what I am..... a true player. I'm looking for a special woman. A woman who will be a strong role model for my many out of wedlock kids. She must know how to dress up and look like a lady, and not be afraid if I accidentally set her on fire. Most of all, she must have a positive outlook because I am HIV-positive.
My name is Chuck and I like to fuck.
My name is J-Bro. It's a mans world, but womens make me feel good. I like busting a groove and busting a nut. I'm looking for a sensitive and sloppy lady of the evening who will never speak her mind and is prone to letting me get in that ass on a daily basis.
My name is Fritz. I believe that women are the fruit of the loom and I long to find my true concubine. I am into scheisse films and making meat pies. I love a girl with a firm and protruding buttocks. Sexy is my favorite food group.
My name is John. I stabbed my last girlfriend to death with a bobby pin. But I hope that will not hurt my chances of finding a special woman with enough eyes to see the real me. Two should work. I like to go for long walks in the park after dark and steal womens purses and I like to light my farts on occasion. I'm looking for a woman who knows how to throw back a pint and still get her point across without slurring too much. Someone who is uber slutty at heart is a bonus.
My name is Theodore. I'm a mama's boy who is into whips and chains and likes to be called daddy because I never had one. I'm looking for a woman with special needs. Someone not afraid to be who they are. A woman who would allow me to treat her with respect and authority. I like to be tied up and beaten with a lamp chord until my ass cheeks bleed and I like pecan pie.
My name is Adolfo. I am a newly transferred hetero-sexual who likes santeria and using humans for dart boards. I believe that the eyes are the window to a persons soul, so I like to take a peek into the proverbial window as I drive a steel plated goat head dagger into their still beating heart. I prefer a woman who enjoys fishing and anal sex. I am a sociopathic beast at dinner parties. I also predominantly prefer spanish men..... I mean, women.
My name is Rich, but I really like it when the girls call me Richie. I like to be squeezed tightly and told I'm the master. My favorite music group is AC/DC. I like to sneak into peoples houses when they are sleeping and I like to bake cookies. My true passions are human anatomy and spicy foods. I like a woman who is into pentagrams and heavy metal. I'm a simple guy. You worship me and I'll pee on you.
My name is Travis. I think sincerity is the vainest attempt at flattery. I like adult films and eating Cheerios with Cognac. I drive a taxi so I work long hours. I'm looking for a woman who is adventurous, non-political, and preferably not a prostitute. I am looking for someone dominating and cheerful who will clean up after me and also knows how to make a good grilled cheese sandwich. Oh, and please be over the age of 13.
My name is Albert. I like reading Christmas cards and making stew. I like a woman who would give me long, and delicate sponge bath without me having to beat the idea into her head. A woman with style and grace, who is a master of fellatio. I'm gentle and decrepit and I have tourette's syndrome. I am good at multi-tasking and I can be the man of both dreams and nightmares. I poop my pants a lot.
****Original post date 11/05/2009****
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