WITH (((HUGS))) AND REGARDS TO FRAGGLE ROCK

 *** A guest blog by Cleanshaven, the bald blogger monkey. Original post date 8/15/2010 ***

Most people think Fraggle Rock is mindless. Of course they are right.

Mindless fun that teaches us all the lessons of life that we all so need to be taughten. Grammar being among them.

 

Who would have ever thought that a fictitious world of make believe that doesn't exist would be so much fun to not actually be able to go to and yet still find itself just as non-existent and relevant today as it did when it first began to not really exist in it's non-existence?

Fraggle rock is delusional in its illusion. Its presence teaches us all sorts of valuable lessons that we so desperately need to be taught like the tolerance and intolerance of toleration and ignoration as well as unanimation. This last one is very important because in this lifetime of which we all have to live it is essential to be unanimous.

So many lessons that enrich and fulfill our wonderland of wonder.

How to spot and be a bully.

Plagerism and plaguerism.

The joys of nature.

The joys of cross dressing.

The joys that can be found in joy.

The spoils of being allowed to poop on the carpet.

Who would ever have thought that such a world could be so educational?

The world of Fraggle Rock's mind was created by that maestro of fluffy puppets and shit, Jim Henson.

But the world of Fraggle Rock indeed belongs to each and every one of us who continue to be amazed and made to go wow and learn the lessons that we all so need to lessen ourselves in.

I remember the very first time that I saw Fraggle rock and I was obliterated with immense joy and diarrhea. I turned on my TV (or my thought-v as I like to call it) and I watched a brilliant and enlightening episode of this show called Don't be a whooly bully, be a whooly mammoth.

This show taught me many things. Among them it showed just how misunderstood the world of Fraggle rock can be and even though sometimes this world can be quite vile tempered it proved that it just is stupid to be heartless and cruel to your fellow puppets. . . . Or maybe it proved that stupid puppets can't really be heartless and cruel because they are too stupid. . . . or something like that. I was drunk when I was watching that episode so I am not entirely sure. But like being mashed up in a really fun to be mashed up in car crash I was hooked.

The next week I sat down in front of that wonderwall of godraffiti and was moved to the point of tears when I sat through most of an episode called Are you there god it’s me Fraggle Rock?

In this whoopie cushion of wowdom the lead character Gobo has regained his faith that he never had when he calls a lady at the bus stop a heybitch.

She turns all the winos that are passed out on the ground against our apex of atheism and one of them even pees on his foot. It was very exciting.

He regains his faith in faith by calling out to the lord and master of puppets. He even gets back all the feeling in his foot after the mad hobo of crablice relieved himself on it. I found myself jumping up and down with joy and more joy but as I said I was unable to see the entire episode due to excessive amounts of joy that I had to poop out. I can only imagine that all was returned to normal and well because there is always a happy ending on Fraggle Rock.

Speaking of happy endings there was a truly inspiring episode called Please lift up my skirt and tickle my strawberries that aired the following week after the air show. Mokey went to a massage parlor downtown and met a beautiful Asian hostess who upon putting ice cubes in her mouth and, going eel diving in the deep blue sea under the table, was aghast to see that our hero was in fact wearing a skirt. Oh my!

I found this subject matter to be quite much really as I believe that even male puppets should never wear skirts and I had to turn this bovine excrement off. Cross dressing is simply not a laughing matter and I was forced to do some crossing of my own to my fingers in hopes that next week the silly puppet would not be wearing this woolen atrocity.

I thanked god the following week, despite being an atheist, when the horribly poofy item had been switched over to a fuzzy jock strap. This made me feel much better.

In an episode entitled Stealing is wrong because it’s just not right Wembley and Boober got into a shouting match at the flea tournament over a forged grocery list that looked an awful lot like the immolation proclamation.

After Boober pulls off Wembley's puppet nipples and sets them on fire he then goes home and calls all of his enormous brood a bunch of good for nothing ball huggers.

When Boober asks god to erase the ungrateful bunch from civilization god answers that he doesn't grant requests to atheists and Boober is forced to pay a visit to the caves oldest Fraggle who is not to be confused with the world’s oldest Fraggle. Don't worry, I got them confused all the time. Some bizarre happenings ensue and I shall not spoil the fun for anybody who wishes to enjoy this great episode as it airs daily and nightly after the air show.

This episode was truly a milestone in education that should be enjoyed again again again by children and adults and animals alike. It climaxed with all the Fraggle clan doing what they do best. Singing the Fraggle Rock theme song called ironically enough the Fraggle Rock theme song.

If you have never seen the Fraggle Rock show it is truly a wonder and spectacle for all to behold even if they try to look the other way while it airs after the air show. I have never been able to do anything but look and sometimes I am provided with laughter. Other times I am drowned in tears.

But I always learn something from this great show and it always makes me feel better about where my life has been and where it is going. Most of all it makes me feel better about where I’m at right now. Usually I am pooping.