***The following is, unfortunately, a true story.***
Once upon a time there was a guy named Harmony Korine.
He was thrust unto a cursed earth against his wishes and tossed atop of this coiled dung heap filled with all the other humanoid anuses who lacked personality or penis size. Such things would not matter to this boy of spoiled grind and soiled mind though. For you see, Harmonkey Korined had some money in his pocket from a thrust fund and a cool sounding name.
What else was there to do but make his own movies so as to entertain and baffle all of the other anuses?
He went on to make some of the shittiest movies known to unkind man and woman hoodlum. He was in luck though. People are idiots and thus spend much of their time praising other idiots.
This philosophy ensured that Harmonious Koran would go on to become a fart knocker hailed as a testicularly artistic artist of the artestically challenged power ball. This means the world of lackluster movie goers were drunk on his jizz.
One day he got a really ballistic crazy eight sized ball of coke money and called up some other idiots he had listed on speed dial in his crackberry and acted out his vision of mishy mashing the glory days of "Yo! MTV Raps" with "MTV Spring Breakin' Ass Slaps and Piss Flaps." The mish mash mess up of a film would be called "Spring Breakers."
This on account of it like being Spring and these bitches be breakin' fo' 'dat shit 'yo.
His bravery in re-living something that anyone with so much as a single brain cell left in their head would gladly inform you died in the womb was once again hailed as a massive masterbaition piece.
He somehow had managed to convince many young girls into showing off their fake tits as he tacked on a soundtrack made from off beats mixed with beating off. All the idiots loved his groundbreaking and cake making film techniques.
He really wanted the prophet and drag rag stomper himself Lil' Wayne to be in his celluloid ego trip.
Upon discovery that Lil' Wayne was in prison for sodomizing a high fructose intolerant corn husker his dimly lit bulb piece blinked a brilliant idea. He asked crackhead facto-actor James Franco if he could portray Lil' Wayne as imagined covered in Elmer's porch paint and when Franco exclaimed "hells yeahhhhh boyeeeeeee" this shitty nugget nerd of film sex knew that a movie like no one had ever dreamed up, wet or dry, was in the making.
Dialogue was written and then forgotten but spoken anyway.
Several ads for sucking dick were filmed with both a wide and short angle lens, this in the name of diversity.
Much dope was smoked. So much that Snoop Dogg was called in as an herbal advisor.
Lil' Wayne heard this through the vine that was planted and grown out of a well hung fellow convicts ass cavity and when he was released he became so enraged that he busted a cap in Harmoney Koorangs ass.
When his trial came up the judge said "Oh, you are the one who made Harmonty Hall's deal with the devil? That is cool. His movies sucked anyway." The judge banged a gavel and then got his cock smoked in the chamber of whores and Lil' Wayne went back to the business of creating quality crap rap.
Harmonday Korinday called a press conference from Hell's Kitchen and said that his new movie was going to be "off the hook" and would "smell like a gang bang chain gangs nutsac."
As for James Franco, he still lives in Whoreywood and has many people believing that he is a real actor.
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